I am so excited Debbie Ford, Deepak Chopra and Marianne Williamson have created The Shadow Effect movie. I have shown it at The Center for Awareness three times, and have another showing scheduled for Friday, July 24th at 7:30 pm. The movie is powerful and a must see for anyone seriously committed to experiencing inner peace and joy in their lives.
I’d like to share with you one of my Shadows and how I discovered it. I had a girlfriend I cared for deeply. Her life, within a few years of us becoming good friends, became rather messy. She got divorced, had young children to take care of, fell in love with a married man, and the drama continued. This became a perfect scenario for one of my Shadows to latch on to and feed off of.
Our Shadows are aspects of ourselves that we are not even aware need healing, yet they are like a virus in a computer. Like many things in life, the Shadow has two sides; one needs healing, and the other is a “mask,” what we show the world to cover it up. This one is the “People Pleaser.” So when my friend needed me, I went into overdrive to help her. I showered her with all of the attention my own Shadow needed. Although I was unconscious to it, on the other side of my mask was my Shadow; the fear of abandonment. My Shadow felt her pain of being alone and this relationship was providing me with the greatest opportunity for growth I’d ever experienced. I just wasn’t aware of it at that time.
As the People Pleaser, I became very important in my friend’s life. I was completely at her disposal. Until, of course, I was the one who needed her. This was the perfect scenario for my Shadow to get activated and surface for much needed healing. When I gave and didn’t get back I experienced the feeling of, you guessed it--abandonment. I love how the Universe works on our behalf!
By that time I had expanded my awareness of how the mind works, and was able to witness what was taking place. I began to trace the pain back to its root cause starting with Craig, the boyfriend who broke up with me when I was 20. But I knew not to stop there; I went even further, back to the age of 10 when my father left our family for another woman. I struck gold! I found the root source of my pain; feeling abandoned by my father. As a 10 year old, I didn’t understand my dad was simply following his heart. He was not purposefully abandoning me. But my 10 year old self, lacking maturity and wisdom, created the story that I was not worthy of love.
The amazing thing I discovered through the power of this awareness was that my ego created the mask of “People Pleaser” to protect me. The People Pleaser does for others so others need them in order to avoid the pain of feeling abandoned. Is that a clever game or what?!
When I gained awareness of how all of this played out, I consciously began healing that wound. When my friend was not there for me, I learned to be with myself and became my own best friend. My lesson was that I had abandoned me, when I made my dad, Craig, my girlfriend, or others responsible for my need to feel worthy of love. Sure my People Pleaser still shows up, but it does so more and more without condition. Now, I practice giving because I love to help others. I practice giving because my heart is full of love and I Am Worth It!
To learn more about your Shadow, please schedule a coaching session with me…..you are worth it!