As I shared a few weeks ago, I started dating Dan back in January. I also mentioned that I wasn’t sure where this relationship would go because it was “unpredictable.” Well, that’s not actually true. I’ll share shortly what I mean as I explain how it was quite predictable. Dan and I broke up last weekend. What is truly “unpredictable” is what’s next for us, individually or maybe even in a different relationship format, such as friends. By the way, I am also completely open to reconnecting as long as we both commit to allowing Love to lead the way.
The best way to explain why this relationship was predictable is to share the highlights of a conversation I had with Spencer, hours after Dan and I broke up. Once Spencer gave me a sweet hug and said he was sorry to hear about my breakup we began to talk about what happened. Mind you, Dan and I have experienced several touch-and-go moments where I wasn’t sure we were going to make it as a couple, but we rallied. This time, well, this could be the completion of our sweet romance.
I shared with Spencer that I wasn’t surprised because I saw it coming. I told him the curse of having my level of awareness is observing–in real time–our egos in action, and witnessing how separation gets created through misinterpretations, judgments and fears. The blessing, on the other hand, of having my level of awareness is watching the separation occurring and preparing for what’s about to take place, from a place of love.
I am very grateful to Dan for many reasons, the primary being that our relationship allowed me to remember how much I love being in a committed relationship because I’m a 100% all-in kind of partner. Always have been, still am, and I love this about me! For someone who may not be as sure about what they want, I can see that my certainty could be challenging, if not downright intimidating.
At my stage in life, being 56 years young and spending the last 16 years becoming Self-Aware, I know who I am, what I want, and what I’m willing to compromise on. When you add that I’m an awareness coach and spiritual teacher to the mix, well, that may not work out too well with someone who is not in a somewhat similar stage of Self-Awareness. However, I do believe that anything is possible, as long are we are both grooving to the same tune: Love!
Because I know we are all aspects of the same One Consciousness, created by GSEL, (God/Source/Energy/Love) as whole and complete beings, there is nothing another person can add to nor take away from us. For this reason, I am grounded in the knowing that we are both fine and will move on, if we so choose, to the next and even better relationship, within this lifetime. I have had my moments of sadness, and I hold them as sacred experiences that allow me to feel the deliciousness of being a human, but I do not dwell in suffering because I am aware that that is optional and serves only to feed the ego.
Because I Trust our innate wholeness, I see both Dan and I as powerful beings creating exactly was is best for our Soul’s evolvement. This certainty brings me peace and comfort and is something I’ve learned, thanks to A Course In Miracles (ACIM), which states that relationships serve to show us if we are operating from ego and fear or, from love and alignment with God. I know when my alignment was spot on, and also when I faltered. I asked Dan for forgiveness and I forgave myself, the times my ego reacted from fear, and as my friend, Irene likes to say, I then kept things moving in the direction of co-creating a holy relationship.
Since Dan and I met dancing, please humor me when I say that it takes two to Tango. BTW, he is a great Tango dancer and I am not, especially since i don’t even Tango, but we are great partners in other types of dances.
Clearly, we were not listening to the same tune when we allowed our egos to offer unsolicited relationship advice making separation an inevitable destination. Curse! Being aware that separation was happening, early in the relationship, I was not surprised by our destination. Blessing!
Obviously, we could have chosen to listen to the same tune, but we would have to have agreed to get our relationship advice from GSEL. As ACIM teaches, we are always choosing between being happy or being right. Clearly, we each wanted to be right about the tune we were listening to, thereby making happy, together, the impossible destination.
Please hold Dan and I in your heart, sending each of us love and light. And, please, trust as I do, that this is exactly what we each needed to experience to become aware of the tune we prefer to listen to: love or fear!
With Love and eternal gratitude,
We are magnificent… Yes, we are!