Dan and I broke up last weekend. A few weeks ago, I started dating Dan back in January. I also mentioned that I wasn’t sure where this relationship would go because it was “unpredictable.” Well, that’s not true. I’ll share what I mean as I explain how it was pretty predictable. What is genuinely “unpredictable” is what’s next for us, individually or even in a different relationship format, such as friends. By the way, I am also entirely open to reconnecting as long as we both commit to allowing Love to lead the way.
The best way to explain why this relationship was predictable is to share the highlights of my conversation with Spencer hours after Dan and I broke up. Dan and I have experienced several touch-and-go moments where I wasn’t sure we were going to make it as a couple, but we rallied. Once Spencer gave me a sweet hug and said he was sorry to hear about my breakup, we began to talk about what happened. This time, well, this could be the completion of our sweet romance.
I shared with Spencer that I wasn’t surprised because I saw it coming. I told him the curse of having my level of awareness is observing–in real-time–our egos in action and witnessing how separation gets created through misinterpretations, judgments, and fears. On the other hand, the blessing of having my level of awareness is watching the separation occurring and preparing for what’s about to take place from a home of Love.
I am very grateful to Dan for many reasons. The primary reason is that our relationship allowed me to remember how much I love being in a committed relationship because I’m a 100% all-in kind of partner. I always have been, still am, and I love this! For someone who may not be as sure about what they want, I can see that my certainty could be challenging, if not downright intimidating.
At my stage in life, being 56 years young and spending the last 16 years becoming Self-Aware, I know who I am, what I want, and what I’m willing to compromise on. When you add that I’m an awareness coach, that may not work out too well with someone who is not in a somewhat similar stage of Self-Awareness. However, I believe that anything is possible, as long as we are both grooving to the same tune: Love!
Because I know we are all aspects of the same One Consciousness, created by GSEL (God/Source/Energy/Love) as a whole and complete beings, there is nothing another person can add to nor take away from us. For this reason, I am grounded in the knowledge that we are both delicate and will move on, if we so choose, to the next and even better relationship, within this lifetime. I have had moments of sadness, and I hold them as sacred experiences that allow me to feel the deliciousness of being a human. Still, I do not dwell in suffering because I am aware that that is optional and serves only to feed the ego.
Because I Trust our innate wholeness, I see both Dan and I as powerful beings creating exactly what is best for our Soul’s evolution. This certainty brings me peace and comfort and is something I’ve learned, thanks to A Course In Miracles (ACIM), which states that relationships serve to show us if we are operating from ego and fear or Love and alignment with God. I know when my alignment was spot on and also when I faltered. I asked Dan for forgiveness, and I forgave myself. The times my ego reacted from fear, and as my friend, Irene, likes to say, I kept things moving toward co-creating a holy relationship.
Since Dan and I met dancing, please humor me when I say that it takes two to Tango. He is a great Tango dancer, and I am not, especially since I don’t even Tango, but we are great partners in other types of dances.
Being aware that separation was happening early in the relationship, I was not surprised by our destination. We were not listening to the same tune when we allowed our egos to offer unsolicited relationship advice making separation an inevitable destination. Curse! goalBlessing!
We could have chosen to listen to the same tune, but we would have to have agreed to get our relationship advice from GSEL. As ACIM teaches, we always choose between being happy or right. We each wanted to be right about the tune we were listening to, thereby making comfortable, together, the impossible destination.
Please hold Dan and me in your heart, sending each of us Love and light. And, please, trust as I do that this is just what we each need to experience to become aware of the tune we prefer to listen to: Love or fear!
With Love and eternal gratitude,