This beautiful Sunday morning, July 9, 2017, as I sat in stillness, on the top deck of the lake house, I heard: Go jump in the lake!
It was The Voice within that Guides me. I know It well. I trust It.
Still, my ego’s voice chimed in: seriously?
Again, The Voice, monotone, certain and calm, said: Go, jump in the lake!
The Awareness I AM simply listened. Then, my egoic separate sense of self began a conversation with The Voice: do I jump with my dress on, or should I get my bathing suit on? The Voice that just is, once again, calmly said: Go jump in the lake now, with your dress on.
The separate sense of self, which I know is just my egoic conditioned thoughts, decided I needed to go downstairs, first, and check my email account. As if that was necessary at 7:15 am.
The Aware Presence I AM was witnessing my ego’s stalling tactics.
It felt peaceful to witness, knowing I AM not the voice that stalls.
And yet, stalling happened.
Grabbing a towel happened.
Stepping outside happened.
Aware of the stillness in mind and the comfortable breathing and effortless movement of the body, walking to the dock began to happen.
While walking, I heard The Voice, again, in a very calm and certain way say: Go Jump in the lake!
I walked onto the dock.
Placing toes on the edge happened.
I experienced a very peaceful and serene sense of obedient surrender.
I trust This Voice.
It’s Guidance.
The egoic thoughts believe it’s their job to block The Voice.
I AM listening.
The Voice prevails.
Dress on.
Toes on the edge of the dock.
In the water, still as glass, I see the reflection I recognize as Laina, the me that appears to be separate from everyone and everything.
And yet, I know, I AM the lake, the reflection, the dock, the cloudy sky, the birds, the wind, the sand at the bottom of the lake.
The Voice says: jump into Me.
I dive.
Did Laina dive into the lake?
Did the lake dive into Laina?
I experienced union.
I experienced peace.
Immersed in trust.
Embraced by the lake.
By Source.
God.
Merging was exquisite.
Wet.
Dry.
Serene.
Freeing.
One
I swam to the shore.
Walking back to the dock happened.
Toes on the edge.
Diving again.
Dying to the ego-self happened.
Cleansing happened.
Reemergence happened.
A new breath happened.
Body swimming happened.
Still Mind.
Awareness received the projection of what appears without, which is actually within.
Once more, I swam to the shore.
Walked back to the dock.
Toes back on the edge.
Diving began.
This time, my dress was pulled back by the impact of entering the water.
Breasts bared.
Adjusting the dress happened.
Swimming happened.
8 little grey birds flew over us: the lake and me.
The Voice said nothing.
Nothing needed to be said.
Life Is Happening.
Jumping in the lake happened.
Nothing happened.
Everything changed.
Everything remained the same.
I swim in the illusion of separation.
I swim in the Reality of consciousness.
I AM The Listener.
I AM The Voice.
Isness Is.
I AM
Thank you for receiving a piece of my Soul.
I love you, oh magnificent one!