YAY… I’m back from a magnificent trip to France!
It was truly wonderful, not because of the gorgeous setting or the 6 amazing friends I traveled with, rather, it was magnificent because of the ME that was Present through it all.
This “ME” I’m speaking of is the Presence of Awareness, which is my, and your True Essence, exactly as GSEL (God/Source/Energy/Love) created you and me! When I Am consciously being The Presence of Awareness, I experience life as the ever-changing field of infinite possibilities that it actually is. This way, the joy I feel emanates from within the changeless Presence that beholds—is Aware of—all that appears to be changing before, within and around me.
You see, what I Am, and so are you—The Presence of Awareness—is the essence of our Wholeness that intrinsically knows there is nothing outside of me that can add to, nor take away from, how GSEL created me. For this reason what I Am experiencing, in any given moment, is actually what I Am choosing to experience and my choice is always—and only ever—between flowing what I Truly Am or blocking it. I can extend the Joy that I Am or block it with judgment. I can extend the Love that I Am or block it with fear. Knowing this allows me to be Present and Aware to everything that is happening, not to “get” from it, because I Am already Whole, but rather, as an opportunity to receive/feel the very essence of exactly what I Am choosing to give/flow to whatever and whomever is before me.
Because I was Present as I packed my suitcase, the morning I left Atlanta, I gave and felt gratitude for what was about to start. I was Present, with Dan, on the drive to the airport since he graciously offered to take me, and I felt the very sweetness of the love I was choosing to flow to him, even though it was clear we are no longer a couple. I was Present, as I moved through airport security, extending my Joy, even while I was patted down by a nice man in uniform. Why? Because I Am Aware that if I remain Present I can consciously choose the feelings or emotions I prefer by giving what I desire to receive as my lived experience!
I was Present on the ten-hour overnight flight while my seatmate snored. I extended joy for his ability to sleep while I remained wide awake for the entire flight. I was Present in Frankfurt, during our layover, as I extended gratitude for the opportunity to stretch my healthy legs during what seemed like a 5-mile walk from our arrival gate to our departing one. I was Present, giving and receiving love, when we landed in France and was met by our magnificent hostess and Soul-Sister, Catherine.
Being Present for the many hours we spent in our van, traveling to and from different towns located up and around mountains, to restaurants, churches, shopping sites, coffee and pastry shops or the many glorious blue/green lakes we visited, allowed me to feel: Gratitude, Joy, Wonder, Innocence, Play, Laughter, Silence, and Love. When I Am Present, to whatever Is before me, my ego-mind must be quiet because I’ve made a conscious choice to activate and extend the Essence of my Presence, instead of unconsciously allowing ego thoughts to block it.
Sure, there were a few moments, scattered about the trip, when egoic thoughts popped into my Awareness with the intent of blocking my extension of joy with a random judgment. However, the beauty of accepting the Truth of What I Am—The Presence of Awareness—I have the power to consciously decide exactly what it is that I prefer as my felt experience. Why wouldn’t I choose to feel good when I Am Aware that feeling good is my choice? (By the way, only unconscious people choose to feel bad!)
Seriously, becoming aware that all feelings and emotions within me are under my control is the greatest gift I’ve received from doing my inner healing work. I can assure you that becoming Self-Aware has been a long and arduous journey of looking at my reactions, projections, memories/stories and judgments while questioning their validity. All the while, feeling my pain and heartaches, anger, guilt and resentments, none of which, I can assure you, was easy. However, it was simple: I needed to feel it, in order to heal it. You see, all of the stored unhealed pain, which is generated by our egoic misperception that love, joy, peace, happiness and security comes to us from the outside, is what acts as the block to our being Present.
All unhealed pain has us walking around this glorious planet—be it at home or abroad—in a state of self-protection. This means that we meet every experience guarded, which automatically makes us grumpy, causing us to look to that experience to give us something, usually a temporary hit of pleasure, approval, love or applause. Anything that will numb our unhealed pain. Mind you, all of this happens outside of our conscious awareness when we are unconscious to these patterns. In plain speak: we are oblivious that we, deep down, believe we need others, or stuff, to make us feel good!
Because I Am Aware of this insane aspect of being a human—‘cause we all do it—I’ve been able to heal my emotional wounds and can more easily transcend my ego-made reactive behaviors. For this reason, I was well Aware that France, my girlfriends, the lakes, mountains, sunsets, food, especially the croissants, the shopping, cute paragliding instructor, the wine and the cute wine tasting host, along with everything else we experienced on our trip, was NOT responsible for how I feel. How I feel is always the result of my being conscious, or not, of the fact that I Am the Presence of Awareness. By the way, if I can become Aware of this life-changing Truth, anyone can!
On our return trip several people, along the way, after hearing that I was headed home from such a magnificent trip, reacted in similar ways: “Oh no, too bad your trip ended.” Or, “Going back to real life is going to suck.” Or, “It’s horrible that the US doesn’t give people the mandatory 5 weeks of holiday time the French get.” For this reason, upon returning home, I was inspired to make the following post on my personal Facebook wall:
As the Presence of Awareness, I can be Present with those that choose to, albeit unconsciously, be “sad” for my return to Atlanta by assuming that being home is somehow not a joyful experience for me. I extended to them, so that I could feel it within me, my joy and excitement for my having a home to return to. I was also Present when I felt sadness, at seeing Dan at the airport because he offered to pick me up, since we are not a couple. Being Present to my sadness allowed me to keep my ego quiet as I choose to imbue my sadness with gratitude for the marvelous 8 months we enjoyed as boyfriend and girlfriend. I consciously choose to be what I Am: The Awareness that is Present to whatever is unfolding before me—here, in France, and anywhere I go!
Bottomline is that awakening allows us to heal the past, which blocks us from being Present to what is always present before us, in each and every new NOW moment. It is the unhealed past that makes us reactive, protective and needy because inherent in that energetic block is the fear that others can hurt us.
Healing the past allows us to remember that Love, Joy and Peace, not only IS what we are, but it IS what we are here to extend/give to others as an act of acknowledging our innate wholeness. Once we heal and feel our wholeness, the natural thing to do be what we are—it flows out—and in that instant, we can Feel ourselves as the very essence of Love, Joy, Peace, Gratitude and Bliss that can then be present, as an example of the only thing that can heal humanity: for each of us to become Aware of who we are as GSEL creates us!
Go ahead, try it. Let wherever you are be the perfect place to flow your joy. Heck, if for no other reason than because YOU want to feel good!
With Love and eternal gratitude,
We are magnificent… Yes, we are!